Dad: There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons and then,
There are those that follow Mohammud, BUT
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics
Is they'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six footer,
You don't have to have a great brain,
You don't have to have any clothes on,
You're a Catholic the moment Dad came.

Because...

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Children: Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasetd,
God gets quite irate.

Child: Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground,
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Children: Every sperm is wanted,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.

Mum: Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Men: Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
Women: If a sperm is wasted,
Children: God gets quite irate.

Priest: Every sperm is wanted,
Br. & Gr: Every sperm is good,
Nannies: Every sperm is needed,
Cardinal: In your neighborhood.

Children: Every sperm is useful,
Every sperm is fine,
Funeral: God needs everybody's,
Mourner1: Mine!
Mourner2: And mine!
Corpse: And mine!

Nun: Let the Pagan spill theirs,
O'er mountain, hill, and plain,
Statues: God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Everyone: Every sperm is wanted,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.