Now if I were a bricklayer,

I wouldn't build just anything,

If I was a ballplayer,

I wouldn't play no second string,

And if I were some jewelry, baby,

Lord, I'd have to be a diamond ring,

If I was a secret, you know I would never be told,

If I was a jug of wine,

Lord, my flavor would be plenty old, 

I could be 'most anything, 

But it got to be 24-karat solid gold





Chorus:

I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name

I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name,

I can be 'most anything,

'Cause when you got nothin' it's all the same



If I was a gambler, you know I'd never lose,

And if I were a guitar player,

I'd have to play the blues



If I was a hacksaw (hatchet), my blade would be razor sharp, 

If I were a politician, I could prove money could talk,

You can find the tallest building,

Lord, you know I'd have the house on top





Chorus:

I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name

I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name,

I can be 'most anything, 

'Cause when you got nothin' it's all the same