Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair

And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share

He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet

And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Ring-ding-diddle-liddle-I-de-o, ring-di-diddley-I-o

Oh, he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street



About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by

One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye

See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built

I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt...



They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be

Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see

And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt

Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth...



They marveled for a moment then one said we must be gone

Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along

As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow

Around the bonnie star the Scots kilt did lift and show...



Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees

Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees

And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes

Oh, lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize...