From the day he was born
He was trouble
He was a thorn
In his mother's side
She tried in vain

Narrator:
But he never caused her nothing but shame

Scott:
He left home the day she died

From the day he was gone
All he wanted
Was Rock 'n' Roll porn
And a motorbike.
Shooting up junk

Narrator:
He was a low down cheap little punk

Scott:
Taking everyone for a ride

When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy
You knew he was a no-good kid
But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Frank:
What a guy!

Janet:
Makes you cry

Scott:
And I did

Columbia:
Everybody shoved him.
I very nearly loved him.
I said, "Hey, listen to me
Stay sane inside insanity"
But he locked the door and threw away the key

Scott:
But he must have been drawn
Into something
Making him warn me
In a note which reads

All:
What's it say? What's it say?

Eddie:
Oh, I'm out of my head
Hurry or I may be dead
They mustn't carry out their evil deeds 

All:
When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy
You knew he was a no-good kid
But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Frank:
What a guy!

Janet:
Makes you cry

Scott:
And I did

All:
When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy
You know he was a no-good kid
But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife

Frank:
What a guy!

Janet:
Makes you cry 

Scott:
And I did 

Frank:
What a guy!

Janet:
Makes you cry 

Scott:
And I did 

Frank:
What a guy!

Janet:
Makes you cry 

Scott:
And I did 

Hey, hey, hey

Frank:
What a guy!

Janet:
Makes you cry 

Scott:
And I did