Started out of necessity

We were so broke and so hungry

In this world of food for cash

Got no choice its stuff and dash



Now we got that dread disease

Bulging pockets full of cheese

The narcs are at the electric door

I drop the goods right on the floor



[Chorus:]

I'm a kleptomaniac

We're all kleptomaniacs

Never ever give it back

Hey asshole what you looking at

(Steal or starve is where it's at)



Franco's got a special coat

Stole enough juice to fill a moat

Al's ripping off some smokes

Reshelving those half empty cokes



Cruise the aisles and pocket goods

They'd jail us if they only could

Get the cashier's dirty looks

She knows we're all a bunch of crooks



[Chorus]



Your inventory's short at Hughes

Cala Foods is paying dues

Safeway's filing Chapter Eleven

I pray we don't gotta rip off heaven



We ain't telling you what to do

Just saying what we been through

Don't come crying to us for bail

When they drag your ass on down to jail



[Chorus]