Well mom, you know I love you. You mean so much to me.
I love the sense of style you got from Oprah on TV.
I love the way you've don't the house, the paintings in the hall.
But why'd you buy these clothes for me down at the mall?

You say the salesgirl told you this stuff was really great.
This stuff was not in style, Mom, when you can Dad used to date.
And if you make me wear it, my friends will laugh at me.
Is this some kind of weird, new child psychology?

Chorus:
Don't let your mom go shopping on Saturday all alone.
You'll have to find some kinda way to make her stay at home.
But if there's something that ya need you'd better go along
Or your mom will get you something that's wrong

Oh, Yuck!

The Sleeping Beauty slippers, the macramé barrettes.
The undershirt with zippers, the sneaks that look like pet,
The Day-Glo plastic raincoats-it's uglier than sin.
And about the Bambi lunchbox...Earth to Mom, come in!

Who'd you buy the pants from? An archaeologist?
And isn't plastic leopard skin on the Endangered List?
It itches and it bulges. It rides up in a bunch.
It dates back to the 50's. It's just plain out to lunch.

Chorus

Mom, tell me I'm dreaming.
There's got to be some horrible mistake.
Mom, it's like a nightmare.
But one look in my closet and...ahhhrrg! I'm wide awake!

Mom: Oh, this is adorable. Oh, and it's on sale. Oh, "All sales final"
She'll love it!
Your mom will get you something that's wrong.

I'm goin' off to school now in shoes of powder blue.
I won't look in the mirror cause I might not make it through.
I'm meeting my friend Connie. Look, her shoes are powder blue.
It's clear to see that her mom went shopping too.

Chorus

Yes, she'll get ya something,
Your mom will get ya something that's wrong,
Your mom will get ya something that's wrong.