(Richard Thompson) 

    

  Valerie you put me on the rack 

Valerie you'll give me a heart attack 

You say that I'm history 

You say I'm no good 

Then you want to be like two babes in the wood 

That's what I wouldn't call playing to the gallery 

I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for Valerie 

Valerie why don't you put that down 

Valerie you're gonna choke and drown 

If you don't give up off this junk food jag 

They're gonna take you home in a body bag 

I can't stand to see one more calorie 

I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for valerie 

Well I'm soft in the head and I give her hard cash 

She spends all my money on junk and trash 

Nylon fur and plastic shoes 

and fifty-seven things she's never gonna use 

Never, never gonna use...valerie 

She's got a figure like this, lips like that 

Red fingernails, teeth like a cat 

I know she's going to be the ruin of me 

She's got me running on nervous energy 

Runnin' on nervous energy 

Valerie she wants to move out of town 

Valerie she wants the money down 

Valerie she wants leopard skin this and tiger skin that 

Matching luggage and a matching hat 

I can't afford her on my salary 

I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for Valerie 

I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for Valerie