brew the coffee in a bucket

double straight man and banjo

if you don't got the snake oil 

buster, you don't got a show

who puts the doh-re-me

in our pockets

keeps the party going on?

it's the man

who sells the potions

i'm just one who plays the songs

now they generally buys 

the bigger size 

they usually rub it in

i drank it once, it tasted 

like grease and paraffin

it's mostly alcohol, okay

you can't deny it's strong

we was going through the motions

‘til the doctor came along



there stands the bottle

ladies and gentlemen

all these bottles

don't have to tell you, friends

these days miracles

don't come falling from the sky

raise your glasses to the doctor

to a stand up guy



when the monkeyshine is flying

and he's promising the cure

he says the french 

for your lovesick blues

la maladie d'amour

he gets the chumps all laughing 

but he gets a few to buy

here's to beefsteak 

when you're hungry

and whiskey when you're dry

now the band'll blow their moolah

like sailors gone ashore

now we're going to west helena

to gamble, drink and whore

let's you and me 

all make whoopee

here's mud in your eye

here's to all the gals you ever want

and heaven when you die



there stands the bottle

ladies and gentlemen

all these bottles

don't have to tell you, friends

these days miracles

don't come falling from the sky

raise your glasses to the doctor

to a stand up guy



there's a big cheese with a cigar 

been sizing up the show

he wants to get the doctor

pitching on the radio 

i will make a switch to guitar

but the rules all still apply

they want to trust somebody

yeah, they want a stand up guy



there stands the bottle

here's to absent friends

all these bottles

dead soldiers in the end

these days miracles

don't come falling from the sky

raise your glasses to the doctor

to a stand up guy

to the doctor

a stand up guy