My hairdresser's called Loretta, she owns an angry heart

I'm awfully glad I met her but I wouldn't want to see 

her start

She owns a fat Lambretta and an even fatter arse

I'm awfully glad I met her but I wouldn't want to break 

that heart



She asks "is that alright?" 

And just to be polite

I can't tell her it looks like sh*te

I just do it myself again tonight



Because she's big enough to bounce me off the wall

And that would not be all

And she's hard enough to have me in a brawl

And that would not be all



I never feel the need to tip her, but she bears me no 

ill

She's always pretty chipper, but it's probably just the 

happy pills

She likes to talk for hours about the deeds that she has 

done

Then she'll show you a picture saying "here's what you 

could've won"



I sit at home at night

Beneath the mirrored light

Wondering if one day might

Loretta actually get it right?



Because she's big enough to bounce me off the wall

And that would not be all

And she's hard enough to have me in a brawl

And that would not be all



It pays you plenty to know your wrong from right

You must be nice, you've got to be nice

Her cupboard's empty, but I won't pay the price

She's gonna bite, she's building up an appetite

She'll bite, she's building up an appetite



Because she's big enough to bounce me down the hall

And that would not be all

And she's hard enough to have me in a brawl

And that would not be all...