She said,

"Thanks for calling!

This is a recording, but

Don't be nervous.

Our goal is to you provide you with

Excellent service.

 

"Please forgive us.

No one would intentionally

Overstrain you

Soon, music from the '80s will

Entertain you.

 

"We appreciate your patience,

And we promise you

A customer care representative

Will be with you shortly.

We appreciate your patience.

 

"We now have a functioning website.

Maybe you're still not aware?

Most customers choose

To do absolutely everything there.

 

"I suppose I'm implying

That this phone call, in fact,

Is what we now consider

To be an outmoded method of contact.

 

"But we appreciate your patience-

No, I'm serious.

Soon a cheerful and calm individual

Will be here to assist you.

We appreciate your patience.

 

"How poignant it seems,

When you know what you know.

You'll live in our dreams

When you go,

When you go."

 

He said:

"Thanks for listening.

Guess we both agree that it's

Never easy.

Deciding how to tell you,

I felt a bit queasy.

 

"Please forgive me.

Say I didn't emotionally

Maul or main you.

You've grown so much

You almost are not the same you.

 

"And I appreciate your patience,

'Cause I'm not another

Coldly uncaring Lothario

Like the rest of your boyfriends.

I appreciate your patience!

 

"How poignant it seems,

When I know what you know.

You'll live in my dreams

When I go, I go."