I wanna talk to you about forbidden pleasures of the flesh
 The most thrilling satisfaction for all mankind
 Better than everything you've ever imagined in your wildest dreams
 The secret of ..... the crab louse

 Here's a message for the girls about vaginas
 And the consequence of fiddling with a partner
 Mind your labia they're never out of danger
 If you're gonna go to bed with a stranger
 Creatures might be hidden in his pubic area
 It's the crab louse it's out to getcha
 It's gonna grab you by the pubic hair
 Shake your pussy when the bastard's there

 It's there to stay
 Sucks all day
 It's there to bite
 My parasite

 The little vampire, horny and so greedy
 It doesn't care about a penis and it's envy
 Its intelligence is nasty and it's sick
 A party animal, a pervert, and a pig If a crab louse mixes up with your saliva
 Stumbles through your body right into your vulva
 Then waits patiently until a penetration
 Gets it out of there and right into salvation

 It's there to stay
 Sucks all day
 It's there to bite
 My parasite
 My love machine
 My maddest dream
 Turns me on
 Makes me cum

 Now we know the little crab louse is a raver
 You can't get rid of it unless you use a razor
 It's unbearable, funky and so cool
 A real smartass and nobody's fool
 If you meet a guy who's scratching at his totem
 We all know that it's connected with his scrotum
 He might tell you his undie is too tight
 You will know that it's a crab louse and you're right

 It's there to stay
 Sucks all day
 It's there to bite
 My parasite
 My love machine
 My maddest dream
 Turns me on
 Makes me cum