Man in Chair: [spoken]
Act two of "The Drowsy Chaperone" begins with this:
A hunting lament of a very depressed bride.
Now, when you are listening to this, um, try to ignore the lyrics.
I know it will be difficult but block them out, there not the best.
But the tune is beautiful and it truly communicates the brides state of mind.
Just ignore the lyrics.

Janet: [sung]
I put a monkey on a pedestal
And tried to make that monkey stay
And he did for a time
But he needed to climb
And with other monkeys play
Far away

He left his jacket on the pedestal
Beside his tiny rusty cup
And I haven’t got the strength
To pick them up
Oh monkey, monkey, monkey
You broke my heart in two
But I’ll always save that pedestal
For you

Come my little monkey
Come my little monkey, do

Man in Chair: [spoken]
The melody is so simple
It just floats in the air
And I must confess
I always get a little misty
When I think of that
Tiny jacket laying there on that pedestal
It’s long sleeves dangling on the floor

Both: [sung]
Oh, monkey, monkey, monkey

Janet: [sung]
You broke my heart in two
But I’ll always save that pedestal

Man in Chair: [spoken]
Pedestal

Janet: [sung]
For you
Come my little monkey
Come my little monkey, do

Man in Chair: [spoken]
Ok, here we go

Janet: [spoken]
Wait!

Man in Chair: [spoken]
Who are you?

Janet: [spoken]
I’m Janet Van De Graaff!

Man in Chair: [spoken]
Do you need anyone?

Janet: [spoken]
I don’t need anyone!

Man in Chair: [spoken]
What about the love of one man?

Janet: [spoken]
What do I care about the love of one man when I am adored by millions!
[sung]
Do I need to be so gloomy?

Both: [sung]
No, no, no

Janet: [sung]
I could rule the world
If so I choose
Sigmund Freud sends flowers to me every show
Gertrude Stein she handed me a rose

Man in Chair: [spoken]
Now she really lets go

Janet: [sung]
I’m Janet, Janet Van De Graaff
Ain’t no nail that I can’t hammer
Why give up a life of glamour
Life of glamour
Life of glamour
Noooooooo!!

Chorus: [sung]
Monkey monkey

Man in Chair: [spoken]
I love this part

Chorus:
Monkey monkey

Man in Chair: [spoken]
She’s having a complete mental break down!

Chorus: [sung]
Monkey monkey monkey

Janet: [sung]
I’m an accident waiting to happen

Chorus: [sung]
Monkey monkey monkey

Janet: [sung]
I don’t want to show of no more

Chorus: [sung]
Monkey monkey

Janet: [sung]
I don’t want to spread mirth no more

Chorus: [sung]
Monkey monkey
Janet:
Be the greatest on earth no more
I don’t wanna
I wanna
I don’t wanna
I wanna
I don’t
I do
I don’t
I do
I don’t wanna show off

Drowsy, George, Aldolpho, Kitty, Feldzeig, Gangster 1, Gangster 2 & Ensemble: [sung]
Stay Janet stay Janet upon the stage Janet
Millions want to see you shine

Janet: [sung]
And I think sure Janet sure Janet
Future is secure Janet
Millions will do just fine

But any future I could ever care to shape
Includes just one two timin’ cad who drives
Me ape

Chorus: [sung]
She put a monkey on a pedestal
And tried to make that monkey stay
And he did for a time
But he needed to climb
And with other monkeys play

Janet: [spoken]
Oh Robert! What a fool I’ve been! A hapless
Fool! I know now that I love you, but I’ve
Thrown it all away! I love you monkey…but is
Love enough? Is love ever enough?

Chorus: [sung]
That’s the story of a monkey gone astray

Janet: [sung]
I ask

Chorus: [sung]
Monkey monkey

Janet: [sung]
The stars

Chorus: [sung]
Monkey monkey

Janet: [sung]
Above
Is it the monkey or my pedestal
I love