He's never caught one spy I'm told

He's never even caught a cold

Got his degree from Disneyland

He's the last of the secret agents

And he's my man



He's an underwhelming kind of sleuth

He thinks James Bond is some kind of suit

He's farther back than also ran

But he's the last of the secret agents

And he's my man



He'd come in third in a two-horse race

I've never had to slap his face

(What a shame)

Now people try to understand

He's the last of the secret agents

And he's my man



He's the last of the secret agents

And he's my man

He's the last of the secret agents

And he's my man