I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
My lips are moving faster than
My mind can comprehend

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Some call me Mr. Mcaly-Mouth
But think of me as friend

If you believe the things I tell you
I've a bridge or two to sell you
And since I've cut my intake down
My liver's on the mend

'Cause I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Good evening and here's what's new

Isn't it awfully nice
To live in a world
Where everything's exactly how it seems

We live in a world
Where all you have to do
Is sit around and dream

About the things that make ya happy
The things that make ya smile
Lay back, relax
Apathy's back in style

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
And I firmly execute
Every word I say

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Only 6% of America
Thinks that I am gay

If you believe the things I tell you
I've a bridge or two to sell you
And if you see the spider
Don't spill your cords and whey

'Cause I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Good evening and here's what's new

Isn't it awfully nice
To live in a world
Where everything's exactly how it seems

We live in a world
That strokes you in the fire
To build up steam

We live in a world
Where all you have to do
Is sit around and dream

About the things that make ya happy
The things that make ya smile
Lay back, relax
Apathy's back in style
Apathy's back in style

I'm David Makalaster
Your ten o'clock newscaster
Good evening and here's what's new