I wanna be a drug-sniffing dog

So I can snort coke all day long

Bite my master when it suits me

Get off on diminished capacity



I wanna be a customs man

Snoop through your stuff 'cause I can

Sneaky peaky pry through your private lives

Stroke your panties, jackin' off at lunch



Weh oh, Weh oh ho

Sure beats Alpo



It's the life

It's the stink

It's the attitude



I wanna be a San Francisco cop

So I can speed and run red lights

And sure as Rodney was a King

We got ways to make you sing



We can seize everything

Houses, cars, and life savings

Keep the loot for ourselves

Fake drug charge works every time



I wanna join the christian coalition

So I can molest my children

None suspect me 'cause I've been saved

'Til my stepdaughter drowns her kids in a lake



Weh oh, Weh oh ho

Spare rod, spoil the child



It's the life

It's the stink

Choose your masks