I got up at half past four

Forty-four robbers around my door

Forty-four - and maybe more

What the hell they want me for? 

Stubbly faces & gap-tooth grins

Ain't no way I'm lettin' them in



No way - you can't come in

Forty-four robbers stinkin' of gin

Uh huh - I ain't lettin' you in

I'll hit you with a rolling pin

So small can't hurt a fly

Get in my way and I'll sure as hell try

To kick your butt down the block

Can't wait yellin' for the cops



Fifty dealers and fifty thieves

Starring at the drive-in on my street

Shitover my shoulder there's popeye and bluto

Looking nasty - can I remember my judo? 

It's always like this - going out alone

So damn scared might never leave home



I've got my freedom I've got my pride

All means nothin' with these men outside

Puffing and preening and strutting their stuff

Blocking my way out - I've had enough!

Give me justice - hand it over now

Gotta get a gun or maybe just leave town...



See ya!



Sly stallone and al capone

Are giving me grief on the telephone

All I want is a swiss cheese sarnie

When at the deli stands big arnie

Hey jean-claude - move aside

That taxi's mine - I'm taking that ride

When I go out to get the sunday paper

What's my man to think 'someone might rape her'? !

I'm just having a beer on my own

Don't mean hulk hogan can take me home

I've got my mace but my loud-as-fuck whistle

Is so ineffective I just pray the epistles

For help to come someday soon

But until then I'll stay in my room