Raise a glass of chardonnay, rejoice and relax, 'cuz 
Great Imitation's making rap middle class
 
Now if you're proud to be a dork don't throw your hands 
up in case you sprain something
You might prefer to just nod, along politely, because 
we crunk politely and we might be likely perchance,
To improve a wedding reception or Tea Dance.
When our best song's blasted over the gramophone, the 
once dancing crowd sits down loudly with a clunk.
This is the tao of . . . . . .
 
Polite Crunk might be liked by types that like white-
funk. Guardian subscription and get drunk, on a fruity 
but bold bottle of boujele a month.
Ford-Focus owners can bump this shit at a moderate 
volume while picking up their kids.
This is for all dorks of all ages, misanthropic 
internet kids whose best friends are vvirtual 
strangers.
Comb over blokes who by buying this are indicating an 
impending, devestating midlife crisis.
Now ladies, if your lack of self esteem seems to allows 
you to see through the fat, sweating and swearing act 
to become attracted,
please remember this, we won't touch you because we're 
in long term relationships.
That second best song comes on hospital radio, terminal 
patients give up.
This is the Tao of Polite Crunk
 
Great Imitation's making rap middle class

We think that urban act's apparel is absolutely 
outrageous, they look like they're brain damaged, we 
dress like estate agents.
Clothes so tight, pinstripes and bow-ties. 
Most promoters are surprised when we bowl through the 
doors at venues.
Wondering whether they've accidentally defected on rent 
and we're here to deliver the news,
that a foreclosure notice has been presented on the 
tenancy.
Now when we've explained the mistake the fact that 
we've actually brought musical instruments as opposed 
to a stack of legal documents.
Their relief at a lack of legal action is as apparent, 
as their disappointment and distraction
that the camp bloke in a bow-tie thinks he's actually a 
rapper.
That third best song goes on to disappointment.
This is the Tao of . . . . . . . 

Polite Crunk is . . . . celebrating success with an 
earl Grey and an early night
Polite Crunk is . . . . hiding in the toilets at the 
very mention of a fight
Polite Crunk is . . . . a rigorous post-gig skin care 
routine
Polite Crunk is . . . . best appreciated if you have a 
degree

If you feel that this farce has reached it's 
limitation, when I say Great, you say Imitation