There was a snake---—a big, green snake—sittin' right in my hallway...
I don't know if he'z poisonous---(but) he'z blockin' my doorway...
I'm thinkin' to myself—"Self? What do I do?"
Two dudes show up --- "yo--we right beside you..."
There's a pussy named fear... and a big dude named anger...
We ain't no strangers, they show up whenever there's danger...
But when these two around -- I always get in trouble...
--- fear was in my ear beggin' me "go get a shovel... "
Anger's grabbin' his crotch --- he ain't tryin' to be subtle...
"CMON—LES Bust the snake's head like a bubble..."
He hands me a shovel –I grab the splintered wood...
And I swing at that snake jus' as hard as I could...
BANG! I miss him---he slithered downstairs...
Man—I broke a tile... and there's pieces everywhere...
Now anger grabs the shovel—snake's under a couch...
Fear's buggin out... like "when's it comin' out? "
So they jump on this coffee table to gain some leverage
... -- fear knocks over my 20 ounce beverage
Yo man—the table's all slippery—you got my floor soaked...
Then he bumps off a centerpiece and all the glass broke...
The pieces are shattered, but nothing else mattered...
Cuz (my man) anger wants to see snake guts splattered
They staring at the floor --- the snake's under the couch...
Now fear's tryin to call some other guy named DOUBT!
But anger's on the table and can only see red...
He's holding the shovel up over his head...
The snake peaks out, anger cracks a evil smile...
BANG—he misses it, but (he) broke another tile
I tell em BE CAREFUL—but they ain't hear what I'm tellin' em
Fear's got anger stoned on adrenalyn
So now I'm trembling—and I feelin shaken...
My stuff keeps breakin but allz I care bout is snakeskin
So fear tries shaking the couch real gently
Anger's in position, he's poised... he's ready
I'm stand there a minute... then minute more
When they flip my couch onto the floor
Oooh—There's some old socks... 2 pretzels... and three peanuts
We ain't seen the snake, so dat means he seen us
Now anger the genius runs around lookin' everywhere...
Fear's a lil bitch... since the snake could be anywhere...
But he finds him first on my computer desk...
Hands the shovel back to anger and sez "you do the rest..."
So anger tries his best—swing hard at the snake...
But he totally misses and my computer screen breaks...
So now the snake is hissin' Fear is pissin on the floor...
Survival mode for snake—he ain't runnin' no more...
Snake's comin' at Anger like (WHISPERED) "yo- Thisssssss is war!"
---anger resembles fear... --—I ain't notice that before... !
They knock over a plant... they bust a hole in my drywall...
I crash* into a stand, hit my back, and then I fall...
OUCH! —that's it –... I'm letting go of you fear...
We back where we started, the front door is near...
(U know) u the REAL snakes -- get outta my residence...
Then I opened MY door and said LEAVE THE PREMISES...
The snake ain't my nemsis, YOU been trappin him in...
Look how many corners u been backin him in
Then I stood there calmly... I stood there peacefully...
You two thugs will NOT act or speak for me...
The snake was equally relieved by my stillness...
We wuz a'ight now and we could both feel this
Anger and fear–lef' my house reeeeeal fast...
Snake followed 'dem out and bit them in they ass...
As he left, u know--I realized somein''...
My house is wrecked and –dat snake broke... NOTHIN'
Fear busted 'dem tiles and flipped over my sofa
Anger broke my computer and knocked all my stuff over
--- w/ 'dem two thugs life's (so) hard to enjoy...
Next time I'll let em go before they destroy
Cuz livin with fear just ain't what life is about...
Open YOUR doors and let YOUR own snakes out...
And you gone find like I did--that w/out any doubt...
Fear (and anger) keeps 'snakes in, love lets them out...