There he goes as usual, my man

Breaking my foolish heart.

I really don't know what to do about him

I've told my self I've got to do without him



There he goes as usual, my man.

Tearing my heart apart.

He's made my life a mess

I've got to do this I guess

Goodbye, Joe, from here I kiss you

Goodbye, Joe, I hope I don't miss you



[Pistol sound]



If you had been on the square

And had treated me fair

And we'd not had a tiff

If you had not said

I should go and jump right off

The nearest cliff

If you had stayed off the make

And you never had taken

To coming home stiff

If I hand not smelled perfume

With a nasty unfamiliar whiff



I'M GONNA MISS YOU BABY!

THINGS COULD'VE BEEN TERIFF!

Ah, what's the diff… 



If you had not had the cheek

To stay out for a week

Saying 'back in a jiff

If you were not such a two-timing guy



If you weren't

If you hadn't 

If you didn't

And you weren't

And you hadn't

And you didn't

But you have

And you were

And you went

And you did

And so goodbye!



If I had not seen you

Take Geraldine on the lake

In your flat-bottomed skiff

If you were not out with Sue

With your arms around her bare midriff

If I had not seen you pen sexy letters

To Gwen in your own Hieroglyph

If you had not left me home

When had two seats for South Pacif



I'M GONNA MISS YOU, BABY

YOU WERE TOO DARN PROLIF

Ah, what's the diff



If you were not such a hound who

When game was around

Always picked at the sniff

If you were not such a two-timing guy



If you weren't

If you hadn't

If you didn't

And you weren't

And you hadn't

And you didn't

But you were

And you have

And you went

And you did

AND SO, GOODBYE



If when I asked where you'd been

You had not cliffed my chin

With a beautiful biff

Hey

If I had not always found purple

Lipstick on your handkerchief

If you had not told me lies

And then looked in my eyes

With a smile beautif

If when I caught you with Kate

You had not said, “It's of no signif!”



I'M GONNA MISS YOU, BABY

AND I COULD GET SPECIF!

Ah, what's the diff!



If The best years of my life

Weren't spent as your wife

With no marriage certif

If you were not such a two-timing guy



If you weren't

If you hadn't

If you didn't

If you weren't

If you hadn't

If you didn't

But you had



And then we coulda

And you didn't

Though you shoulda



If you didn't

If you weren't

If you hadn't

If you didn't

But you were

And you have

And you went

And you did

And so

Good bye

See ya later, Joe