Gotta getta job get a real good job gotta get an 
apprenticeship son,
That's what me old man told me he said you'll thank me 
when ya done,
The lyin' lazy old dole bludger he's never had a job in 
his life,
And he's never been a fuckin' apprentice and he dunno 
what it's like...



When they pull me pants down 'round me ankles shave me 
pubic hair,
Grease me balls with old sump oil and chain me to a 
chair,
Hoist me up on the workshop roof and turn the fire hose 
on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
What is he? He's only the apprentice and we're only 
havin' fun.

Yeah then it's off to the store with an order form for 
a bucket of weldin' sparks,
And a left handed hammer and a cork screw spanner and a 
sheet of broken glass,
And a can of striped paint to paint the sky hook ta 
hang me push bike on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
Yeah then it's off to the office in me underpants for a 
dip in the typin' pool,
And see if they've got some plastic wrap for a female 
fattenin' tool,
Or a cheesy muff burger with heaps of sauce and a randy 
tart for lunch,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
That's why they pull me pants down 'round me ankles 
shave me pubic hair,
Grease me balls with old sump oil and chain me to a 
chair,
Hoist me up on the workshop roof then turn the fire 
hose on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
Some one shit in me sandwich box pissed in me thermos 
flask,
Singed me eyebrows off with an oxy torch stuck an air 
hose up me arse,
Pinched the wheels off me fuckin' push bike peirced me 
ear with a rivet gun,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.

Yeah I'm only the apprentice and I've put up with all 
this shit,
And I'll get through this apprenticeship if these 
arse'oles let me live,
And I can hardly wait for the day 'till I'm a tradesman 
too,
And I'll get me a fuckin' apprentice... he he... ya 
know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna pull his pants down 'round his ankles shave 
his pubic hair,
Grease his balls with old sump oil and chain him to a 
chair,
Hoist 'im up on the workshop roof and turn the fire 
hose on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
What is he? He's only the apprentice and we're only 
havin' fun.
Big finish, He's only the apprentice and we're only 
havin' fun.