I've come to the conclusion, 'cause I get around a bit,
That half of what you read is bull and the other half's all shit,
And the truth is really nothin' like what you've probably read,
Shit I was there I ought'a know what was really said.

I know what was really said, fuckin' oath I do,
Cross me heart and hope to die now look I wouldn't lie to you
'Cause shit mate I was there I oughta know, may lightenin' strike me 
dead,
Honest mate fair dinkum, I know what was really said.

I know what was really said, when captain Cook first lobbed he said
"This land's not fit for animals much there's we have British blood",
A couple'a abbos overheard what was goin' on,
And one turned to his mate and he said "Fuckin' wingin' pom".
And what about back in world war 2 when the yanks first dropped the 
bomb,
"Holy shit laju la fall let's drop another one".
Six-thousand ton of TNT the noise the blinding flash,
And the mayor of Hiroshima say "Haww what the fuck was that?!"

That's what he really said, fuckin' oath he did,
Cross me heart and hope to die now look I wouldn't tell a fib,
'Cause shit mate, I was there I oughta know, may lightenin' strike me 
dead,
Honest mate fair dinkum, that's what he really said.

And a touching scene just recently was Kim Hughes on TV,
When the mighty windies brought Australia to her knees,
And I don't wanna play cricket I just want me mom".
And what about the pope that time, you know, when he got shot,
He wasn't doin' nothin', he was just out blessin' wogs,
They say that he forgive the bloke, that shot him with that gun,
That had been me I would'a said "You fuckin' dirty cunt".

That's what he should'a said, fuckin' oath he should,
Cross me heart and hope to die now look I wouldn't lie if I could
'Cause shit mate, I was there I oughta know, may lightenin' strike me 
dead,
Honest mate fair dinkum, that's what he should'a said.

And at the Royal wedding, for all the world to see,
When Lady Di leaned over and kissed he ol' man on the cheek,
They made it sound so romantic, like "Charles give me a kiss",
But I read her lips and reckon she said "I'm bustin' for a piss".
Back when labor shit on liberals, with such a massive win,
And Malcolm Fraser got the ass and Bob Hawk was voted in,
He held the 'V' for 'Victory' sign and give a little laugh and he said
"Ah there you go Malcolm you wanker shove those up your ass".

That's what he really said, fuckin' oath he did,
Cross me heart and hope to die now look I wouldn't tell a fib,
'Cause shit mate I was there I oughta know may lightenin' strike me 
dead,
Honest mate fair dinkum, that's what he really said.

Honest mate fair dinkum, that's what he really said,