Quite often i'd get to thinking
how as kids we got by, like at Christmas time at our 
house,
we couldn't even afford a fire,
but we made due with what we had back then when I was 
young,
dad used to suck a peppermint,
and we'd all sit aound his tounge,
we couldn't afford no sparkley tinsel for our christmas 
tree,
so we'd just wheel old grandad in, and make the old 
cunt sneeze 
"Wheel him 'round the other side nanna"
But things changed pretty bloody quick, I got kids now 
of me own,
and I heard 'em unrap their prezzies
last night when I got home.
Hey Santa claus you cunt!
Where's me fucking bike?
I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing 
that I like.
I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you 
twice
Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me fucking bike.
If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody 
asked.
And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove 
right up your arse!
You've stuffed me bloody order up
It's enough to make you spew
And I'm not the only one who's snakey 
Me sisters dirty too!
(female voice)
Hey santa clause you cunt!
Where's me fucking pram?
You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I 
am.
'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on 
your hand
I'll give you fucking ho ho ho
You forgot me fucking pram
(male voice)
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the 
guts
And I'll let your fucking reihndeer go and kick Rudolf 
in the nuts!
You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that 
store
And me and me little sister, come stomping through the 
door
And we'll say, yeah you wait for it
Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his 
bloodshot eyes
And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells 
fucking lies
He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even 
very bright 
'Cause the old fucking wanker Forgot me fucking bike.
You wait you old cunt, I'm gonna dob you in
Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your fucking 
lights out
"I saw mummy sucking santa clause"