My best friend Sarah went to Europe for the summer
My brother got kicked out of school, aw, bummer
Julian got laid in the back seat of a hummer 
And got arrested, like Mel Gibson.

I read in the trades that the NYSNC boy is
No way

I threw up in Paris Hilton's closet
I got drunk and totally lost it
When I woke up, the first thing that I thought of was: oh my,  Kesha
Those hot Jimmy Choos, hey Paris, did I lose it on that pair too?

Celebutons work in the glamarazzi
Should've told my story to the tabloids, took the money
Takes a lot to get kicked out of these parties
And almost get arrested, like Mel Gibson

I don't recall at all that I got like fifty phone calls
Oh,my god, is that true?

I threw up in Pairs Hilton's closet
I got drunk and totally lost it
When I woke up, the first thing that I thought of was: oh no, Kesha
With those hot Gucci shoes, hey Paris, did I lose it on that pair too?

Of all the stupid things I've done,
I'm the proudest of this bra
But this one's the best

I threw up in Paris Hinton's closet
I got drunk and totally lost it
When I woke up, the first thing that I thought of was: oh my, 
Kesha,
With those hot Jimmy shoes and those Manolos and Pradas and
Chloes and your sparkly dresses, hey Paris! I saw the same stuff
at target

Hey Paris, what you gonna do?
Hey Paris, what you gonna do?
Hey Paris, what you gonna do? 
I totally lost it, la la la la
You're not fooling me anymore
I saw the tag, I saw the tag

I threw up in Paris Hinton's closet
I got drunk and totally lost it and
I threw up in Paris Hinton's closet
I got drunk and totally lost it 
Tra la la,
Tra la la la la.