Open the windows, Virginia,
Let the wind blow the papers away.
Don't know if you've got it in ya'.
Just like a dunce in the eighth grade,
You'll soon be an old maid,
School teacher, rule creature, cool creature, school teacher.

You're a beginner, Virginia,
Simple arithmetic shows a delay.
Do all the sums deep within 'ya,
Oh yes, and then assign the grade,
You'll soon be an old maid,
School teacher, rule creature, cool creature, school teacher.

Your soul's in limbo, Virginia,
You found a formula for your mistakes.
God doesn't know where to send 'ya,
The Bible's black opaque keepsakes,
When your red hair's turning grey,
School teacher, rule creature, cool creature, school teacher.