Have some pittie on an easterner,
show a little sympathy
no one could possible could be steerner 
than you have been with me,

a.. theres a job that I`m applying for
let me put it to ya thus
theres a partner ship I`m dien' for
Mr. and Mrs. us

so before you file it on the shelf, 
let me tell you of myself

oh I`m the chapie to make ya happy
I`ll tie your shoesies, and chase you bluesies
oh lady would ya, could ya use me

now I`d shake the mat out
and let the cat out
I`ll clean the garret 
and feed the parrot
oh lady would ya, oh tell me could ya use me?

do ya realize what a good man your getting in me?
I`m no elker mason or woodman who gets home at three
the girls that see me grow soft and dreamy
but I`m a gander that wont falander
oh could ya use me, cus I certanly could use you

theres a chap I know in mexico
whoes as strong as he can be
eating nails and drinking texaco
he is the type for me

there is one I california
more romantic far than you 
when he sings ha cha cha chornia
I often think he'll do

but as for you sir, i`m afraid
you will never make the grade

for your no cowboy, your soft, and how, boy
I feel no musel thats fit for tussel
I must refuse you, I cannot use you

'scuse me

no night life for the
birds would bore youthe cows wont know you,
a horse would throw you,
you silly man you
to ask me, can you use me?

ha

though at love you may be a wizard, i`m wanting to know
could you warm me up in a blizad 
say, forty below
your ties are freakish 
your knees are weakish
your not a zender, you elbow bender
though you can use me 
I most certainly cant use you