I can see it in your eyes, girl, that you're in the mood for love
So I'll light some candles, pour some wine, let's sit down on the rug
But there's something I must tell you, babe, before we take this step
Something about me, girl, that you do not know yet

I have no penis. It was torn off
In a bicycle accident in 1999.
I also lost one testicle so all I have is a weird uni-ball
And a rubber tube between my legs
But babe, I can love you in different ways
I'll make love to you with the rubber tube that I use for urinating
And I'll tape two Popsicle sticks to it to make it easier for penetrating
And having only one ball isn't always a bad thing
It's like a pool ball in a pillowcase, it's like a cherry on a sundae

Because, girl, I have no penis. It was torn off
In a bicycle accident in 1999.
I also lost one testicle so all I have is a weird uni-ball
And a rubber tube between my legs
But, babe, I can love you in different ways.

Just cause I don't have a cock, it doesn't mean I can't rock.
Just cause I don't have a cock, it doesn't mean I can't rock.
Just cause I don't have a cock, it doesn't mean I can't rock.
Ohh yeah.