G                          C          G
Dear Abby, Dear Abby; My feet are too long,
                              D
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong.
G                                C           G
My friends they all tell me I've no friends at all,
                                       D       G
Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call.
C    D  G
Signed, Bewildered.
           G                             C   G
Chorus:   Bewildered,bewildered you have no complaint,
                             D
You are what you are and you aint what you aint.
G                       C         G
So listen up buster and listen up good,
                              D           G
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
C    D  G
Signed, Dear Abby.

G                       C            G
Dear Abby,Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks.
                             D
My wife hollars at me and my kids are all freaks.
G                           C            G
Every side I get up is the wrong side of bed,
                                      D     G
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead.
C    D  G
Signed, Unhappy.
      G                         C  G
cho:  Unhappy,Unhappy, you have no complaint ...

G                         C          G
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this,
                             D
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss.
G                           C        G
My girlfriend tells me its all in my head,
                                D    G
But my stomach tells me to write you instead.
C    D  G                   G
Signed, Noise-maker.  (cho: Noise-maker,Noise-maker, ...)

G                               C    G
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, I never'd have thought,
                                D
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught.
G                                C              G
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze,
                                D                G
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees.
C    D  G                   G
Signed, Just Married. (cho: Just Married, Just Married,