Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt, left a bar one evening fair,
and one could tell, by how he walked, that he'd drunk more than his share,
he fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
and he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Chorus:  Ring ding diddle diddle i dee oh,
         Ring di diddly i oh,
         (repeat last line of previous verse)

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
and one said to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

(Chours)

They crept up on the sleeping Scot as quiet as could be,
And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see,
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scotish skirt,
Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

(Chorus)

They marvelled for a moment then one said we must be gone,
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along.
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show.

(Chorus)

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call, and stumbled for a tree,
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees,
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
Ah*, lad I don't know where ya been but I see ya won first prize