We skipped the light fandango

turned cartwheels 'cross the floor

I was feeling kinda seasick

but the crowd called out for more

The room was humming harder

as the ceiling flew away

When we called out for another drink

the waiter brought a tray

And so it was that later

as the miller told his tale

that her face, at first just ghostly,

turned a whiter shade of pale

She said, 'There is no reason

and the truth is plain to see.'

But I wandered through my playing cards

and would not let her be

one of sixteen vestal virgins

who were leaving for the coast

and although my eyes were open

they might have just as well've been closed

She said, 'I'm home on shore leave,'

though in truth we were at sea

so I took her by the looking glass

and forced her to agree

saying, 'You must be the mermaid

who took Neptune for a ride.'

But she smiled at me so sadly

that my anger straightway died

If music be the food of love

then laughter is its queen

and likewise if behind is in front

then dirt in truth is clean

My mouth by then like cardboard

seemed to slip straight through my head

So we crash-dived straightway quickly

and attacked the ocean bed