From the courtyard, I floated in and watched it go down
Heard the cup drop, thought, "Well, that's why they keep them around"
The blackguard sat hard, down with no head on him now and I felt so bad
'Cause I didn't know how to feel bad enough to make him proud

By the time you read this, I will be so far away
Daddy Longlegs, how in the world am I to be expected to stay?
In the night, in the night, you may hear me call
Pa, stay your hand and steel your resolve, stay where you are, so long and tall

Here's Lola, ta da, to do her famous Spider Dance for you
Lighten up your pockets
Shake her skirts and scatter there
A shrieking, six-legged millionaire with a blight in his sockets

Miss Montez, the Countess of Lansfeld, appealed to the King of Bavaria
Saying, "Pretty papa, if you are my friend
Mr. Daddy Longlegs, they are at it again, can I see you?"

Poor Lola, a tarantula's mounting Countess Lansfeld's handsome brassiere
While they all cheer
And the old king fell from grace while Lola fled to save face and her career

You caught a fly, floating by
Wait for him to drown in the dust
Drown in the dust of other flies
Whereby the machine is run
And the deed is done
Heaven has no word for the way you and your friends have treated poor Louis
May God save your poor soul, Lola
But there is nothing I adore apart from that whore's black heart

Well, doesn't that just beat all?
Miss Gilbert, called to Castlemaine, by the silver dollar and the gold glitter
Well, I've seen lots but never in a million years would think to see you here

Though the long road begins and ends with you
I cannot seem to make amends with you, Louis
When we go out, they're bound to see you with me

At night, I walk in the park with a whip between the lines of the whispering Jesuits
Who are poisoning you against me
There's a big black spider hanging over my door
Can't go anywhere, anymore, tell me, are you with me?

I called to you several times while the change took place and then arrived all night
And I died
But all these songs, when you and I are long gone, will carry on, mud in your eye

You asked my hand, hired a band
"In your heart is all that you need
Ask and you will receive," it is said
I threw my bouquet and I knocked 'em dead

Bottle of white, bottle of red
Helpless as a child, when you held me in your arms
And I knew that no other could ever love me as you loved
Love me as you loved but help me, I'm leaving

I remember everything, down to the sound of you shaving the scrape of your razor
The dully-abrading black hair that remains when you clutched at me
That night I came upstairs, half-dead
And, in your kindness, you put me straightaway in the cupboard with a bottle of champagne
And then, later, on a train, it was dark out, I was half-dead
I saw a star fall into the sky like a chunk of thrown coal as if God himself spat like a cornered rat

I really want you to do this for me, will you have one on me?
It was dark, I was drunk and half-dead and we slept, knocking heads
Sitting up in the star-smoking air knocking heads like buoys
Don't you worry for me, will you have one on me?

Meanwhile, I will raise my own glass to how you made me fast and expendable
And I will drink to your excellent health and your cruelty, will you have one on me?
Helpless as a child, when you held me in your arms and I knew that no other could ever love me

From the courtyard, I floated in and watched it go down
Heard the cup drop, thought, "Well, that's why they keep them around"
The blackguard sat hard, down, with no head on him now and I felt so bad
'Cause I didn't know how to feel bad enough to make him proud

Well Daddy Longlegs, are you?
Daddy Longlegs, are you?
Daddy Longlegs, are you proud?