Well, I was drivin' down I-95 the other night
Somebody nearly cut me right off the road
I decided it wasn't gonna do any good to get mad
So I wrote a song about him instead, it goes like this

Were you born an asshole
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way, it worked out fine
'Cause you're an asshole tonight

Yes, you're an A S S H O L E
And don't you try to blame it on me
You deserve all the credit
You're an asshole tonight

You were an asshole yesterday
You're an asshole tonight
And I've got a feelin'
You'll be an asshole the rest of your life

And I was talkin' to your mother
Just the other night
I told her I thought you were an asshole
She said, "Yes, I think you're right"

And all your friends are assholes
'Cause you've known them your whole life
And somebody told me
You've got an asshole for a wife

Were you born an asshole?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
'Cause you're an asshole tonight