Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party

We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog

Little sister brought her new boyfriend

He was a Mexican

We didn't know what to think of him until he sang

Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad



Brother Ken brought his kids with him

The three from his first wife Lynn

And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Neil

Of course he brought his new wife Kay

Who talks all about AA

Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel

The First Noel



Cook the Turkey

Turn the ball game on

Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone

Send somebody to the Quickpak Store

We need some ice and an extension cord

A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites

A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights

Halleluja everybody say Cheese

Merry Christmas from the family



Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen

I can't remember how I'm kin to them

But when they tried to plug their motor home in

They blew our Christmas lights

Cousin David knew just what went wrong

So we all waited out on our front lawn

He threw a breaker and the lights came on

And we sang Silent Night, Silent Night, Oh Silent Night



Cook the turkey turn the ball game on

Make Bloody Mary's 

Cause We All Want One!

Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go

We need some celery and a can of fake snow

A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites

A box of tampons and some Salem Lights

Halleluja, everybody say cheese

Merry Christmas from the Family



Feliz Navidad