It used to be a motel

Now they serve biscuits and t-shirts

I bring my own tea bag

I don't trust the coffee

But the biscuits are delicious

They come eight to a plate with a big block of butter

and homemade peach preserves



And I wish you were here, my arrogant lover

I'd make you eat grits and the red-eyed gravy

I'd make you sit down with the southern ladies and

their blue pantsuits

I'd talk about Jesus

Talk about the weather

Watch you squirm as I told them we were married with two girls



I'd say you were in trucking

And I was a teacher

In a Christian school where the kids are good

And they don't do drugs and they save themselves

before they're married

I wouldn't tell them you had a wife

That wasn't me and we just had sex

And they wouldn't be impressed if I told them you knew Lou Reed



And the stars upon the walls look down at me like gods

There's Ernest Borgnine and Billy Ray Cyrus and my favorite Minnie Pearl



So I go for the coffee

It's not bad just a little weak

And I ask the waitress for another plate of the famous biscuits

She said you must have a bottomless pit

I said you don't know the half of it

Lately I've been so hungry



And the stars upon the wall look down at me like gods

Minnie she just shakes her head

She said "Girl get your heart out of the frying pan"



It used to be a motel

Now they serve biscuits and smoked ham

I write you a postcard from the loveless motel