Brain-storming, habit-forming, battle-warning weary winsome actor spewing 

     spineless chilling lines-- 

The critics falling over to tell themselves he's boring 

And really not an awful lot of fun. 



Well who the hell can he be when he's never had V.D., 

And he doesn't even sit on toilet seats? 



Court-jesting, never-resting--he must be very cunning 

To assume an air of dignity 

And bless us all 

With his oratory prowess, 

His lame-brained antics and his jumping in the air. 



And every night his act's the same 

And so it must be all a game of chess he's playing-- 



But you're wrong, Steve. You see, it's only solitaire.