Flirting
Jess Klein

please direct all comments etc to v52b1@unb.ca

(spoken)
A long time ago, before I was a rock star, umm, I used to work in this deli, in New Jersey.  That's what this song is about

(singing)

The boss didn't like me, 'cause I refused to flirt
He paid me peanuts, and treated me like dirt
But he said "well we can work it out, so what do you say?"
I though I bet at five p.m. this gets subtracted from my pay
But I said

Hey hey, flirt with this
I'm a certified hardcore bitch
And I do not want approval from you
But I'll let you live and that's the only favour I'm gonna do

I sing my self to sleep, I sing myself awake
It's a wooden-belly hustle, and he said "shake it, baby, shake"
And I guess I shook it too hard in a public place

'Cause he was breathing down my neck, with his arms around my waist
And his slimy intentions were oozing from his face, and he said,
"What's a pretty girl like you doing without a man?"
I said "why don't you ask my girlfriend, she'll help you understand"
And I said

Hey hey, flirt with this
I'm a certified hardcore bitch
And I do not want attention from you
But I'll let you live and that's the only favour I'm gonna do

Serving food to a man with a top ten list on his chest
Top ten reasons why beer is better than women
What?!  God!

Reason Number One: Beer always tastes fresh
I spit in his salad so that it was better dressed
Reason Number Two: Beer labes don't put up a fight
I looked at the carving knife and thought "I just might"

So I rang up his order, and what did I say?
"Thank you for raping me with your shirt, and have a nice day"
And he said "Relax girlie, don't you like to flirt?"
And I said "No bagels and lox for you pal!"
Yeah I said

Hey hey, flirt with this
I'm a certified hardcore bitch
And I do not care for your point of view
But I'll let you live and you'll consider yourself lucky too

Here comes the epilouge

So sing it with me ladies, there's no need to be afraid
A bad attitude can really brighten up your day
Some man tries to get you to hang your head in shame
Just give him the boots, yeah, reclaim the name that brought you to fame and say

Hey hey, flirt with this
I'm a certified hardcore bitch
And I do not want any shit from you
But I'll let you live and that's the only favour I'm gonna do