my first crush on an irish girl I was ten yrs old and her name was Elaine

little red head girl well she looked like you, but if you were ten

which you're clearly not

not that you look old but you get my-

I'll just stop now

ok wait cuz - I had a point,  no I swear I did, well I think I did - 

which is all my life 

or since I was ten 

I had a yen for an irish lass

because god knows why like the ancient curse of shiksa queens

Do I talk too much?

Which is not to say I would want Elaine

Who turned out to be when I last checked in

a republican, and a parapsychologist



if you got a four leaf clover

you could make my dreams come true

I will be your hebrew slave

just do the things that irish girls do

talk about potato famines

I begin to cry on cue

sing about the emerald isle and

get your irish eyes to smilin'

I could be in love with someone like you



I Just left a relationship with a lovely girl named Alyssa Lavine

she was really great

it was all my fault

I just got upset

cuz she slept with my brother



so I made a vow not to get caught up in the dating scene

in the whole routine

with the cousins friend

on the whos knows what

like I need that shit

I got marks to make

I got steps to climb

its the perfect time

I got books to write I got things to do

I go out my door and bump into you

and the jig is up and my vow is through

I don't know what I'm doing

but come in and ruin me!

I will write my own Ulysses

If youre there to show me how

take me back to Glocca Morra

bathe me in the river Shannon now

If you'll be Mrs. O'Leary

Baby I will be your cow

I will deliver shamrocks daily

buy your pa a new shillelagh

I could be in love with someone like...

you could be my inspiration

and get my past this block

and walk me into the great unknown

you could be my true salvation

unchain me from this rock

and keep me from being alone

cuz I'm no good at being alone!

Take me to another level

let me play in bigger halls

I will do a riverdance 

as long as you keep answerin' my calls



get me out of my apartment

keep me from my empty walls

someone hire John MCCormack

start the wearing of the green

let me win the irish sweepstakes

Let me take you home Kathleen

I can be in love with someone X3

like you!