Johnny Jones was a first class private
 In the army last year
 Now he's back to bus'ness in his father's place
 Sunday night I saw him with a smiling face
 When I asked why he felt so happy
 Johnny chuckled with glee
 He winked his eye and made this reply:
 "Something wonderful has happened to me"

 [chorus:]
 I've got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me
 He wanted work so I made him a clerk in my father's factory
 And bye and bye I'm gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
 I make him open the office ev'ry morning at eight
 I come around about four hours late
 Ev'rything comes to those who wait
 I've got my Captain working for me now

 [2nd verse:]
 He's not worth what I have to pay him
 But I'll never complain I've agreed to give him fifty dollars per
 It's worth twice as much to hear him call me "Sir"
 While I sit in my cosy office
 He's outside working hard
 Out in the hall at my beck and call
 With a feather duster standing on guard

 [2nd chorus:]
 I've got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me
 He wanted work so I made him a clerk in my father's factory
 And bye and bye I'm gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
 When I come into the office he gets up on his feet
 Stands at attention and gives me his seat
 Who was it said "revenge is sweet"