[Originally By Paul Simon]



A man walks down the street 

He says why am I soft in the middle now 

Why am I soft in the middle 

The rest of my life is so hard 

I need a photo-opportunity 

I want a shot at redemption 

Don't want to end up a cartoon 

In a cartoon graveyard 

Bonedigger Bonedigger 

Dogs in the moonlight 

Far away my well-lit door 

Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly 

Get these mutts away from me 

You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore 

If you'll be my bodyguard 

I can be your long lost pal 

I can call you Betty 

And Betty when you call me 

You call me Al 

A man walks down the street 

He says why am I short of attention 

Got a short little span of attention 

And wo my nights are so long 

Where's my wife and family 

What if I die here 

Who'll be my role-model 

Now that my role-model is 

Gone Gone 

He ducked back down the alley 

With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl 

All along along 

There were incidents and accidents 

There were hints and allegations 

If you'll be my bodyguard 

I can be your long lost pal 

I can call you Betty 

And Betty when you call me 

You call me Al 

Call me Al 

A man walks down the street 

It's a street in a strange world 

Maybe it's the Third World 

Maybe it's his first time around 

He doesn't speak the language 

He holds no currency 

He is a foreign man 

He is surrounded by the sound 

The sound 

Cattle in the marketplace 

Scatterlings and orphanages 

He looks around, around 

He sees angels in the architecture 

Spinning in infinity 

He says Amen! and Hallelujah! 

If you'll be my bodyguard 

I can be your long lost pal 

I can call you Betty 

And Betty when you call me 

You call me Al 

Call me Al