Give God the first portion of your income. Give it first!
 Not after deducts  not after the social security  and the
 hospitilization  and the malnutrition. Not after all these
 things on your check you say  I'm gonna give God a little what's
 left. You do  and that's what you gonna get from God."

 [Violent J]
 Who am I? I'm not the Devil
 I can take you to my level
 Above the rocks, above the earth
 Tell me what your soul is worth
 How much money do you make?
 How much will you let me take?
 I will give you tranquilty
 Just send your wealth and checks to me
 Life is going to expire
 And your soul will burn in fire
 You will perish in the thunder
 Unless you call my hotline number
 God has asked you to make me rich
 Me and my fat-whack gaudy bitch
 On your T.V.'s late at night
 Send those checks and I'll guide you to the light

 "Don't put away your wallets just yet, brothers and sisters. There's
 somebody here I'd like all of you to meet. This is little Jonathan.
 Jonathan, say hello to the lovely people, (hello). Jonathan has
 problems. Twisted neck, tangled legs, crooked spine, but we can heal
 this boy. For just, uh, six thousand dollars, we can heal this boy!"

 [Violent J]
 God had called me and then stopped by
 And he told me you're gonna die
 Unless you buy my holy water
 Check, cash, or a money order
 This is true, don't question me
 I'll even send you shit for free
 It's only ten bucks for the call
 And I'll send a prayer, no charge at all
 Put your lips up to the screen
 Close your eyelids and intervene
 Your lips to mine, now send the cash
 And while you're there, you can kiss my ass
 Take your paycheck and send me half
 And I'll send you God's autograph
 I'll get Allah's and Buddha's too
 Even Zeus, I don't give a fuck who
 Just send me that money

 "Would you like to healed, little Jonathan? (yes, reverand).
 You see brothers and sisters, this...(beep-beep beep-beep)
 Excuse me. I told you never to page me on a sermon day. Yes?
 Uh-huh. Hallalujah. Outty. People, that was the lord, today only,
 he will heal this boy, for just five thousand dollars!"

 Pass the collection plate (show-show me how you give)
 Pass the collection plate (g-give-give, how to live)
 Pass the collection plate (show-show-show me how you give)
 Pass the collection plate (show me how you give, I'll tell you how to live)

 [Violent J]
 Your total's twenty-two eleven
 For your set of keys to heaven
 Make the checks out in my name
 Me or God, it's all the same
 Bring your crippled ass to me
 Pay my usher the holy fee
 I'll bless your legs and bless your chair
 Then wheel your bitch-ass outta here
 Now a special ceremony
 This part don't cost any money
 Drip a drop of blessed water
 Now I fertalize your daughter
 Even though I fucked a hooker
 Took your baby girl and shook her
 You still buy everything I sell
 And I'm living well
 See you in Hell!

 "Four-thousand, eight-hundred, nine-hundred, five thousand
 Hallalujah, you did it brothers and sisters. Are you ready, Jonathan?
 (yes, reverand) Lord Almighty, we've met your price, give me the
 healing power, I can feel it, Lord! Roomy loomy lama noma noomy!
 This boy is healed. (really?) Now to the naked eye, it would appear
 that this boy has not been healed, but I can assure you, this boy's
 spirit has been healed. Inside this tangled, mangled frame is a healed
 little boy. His spirit is healed, Hallalujah