Friend of mine in a bar hadn't been chatted up for years
Got this bloke droning on and on, boring my poor friend to tears
She looks him dead straight in the eye
Thinks to herself, 'ooh, what a guy'
But he goes on and on and on and on
Been polite for far too long
So, she said
she said
she said..

Take your cigarettes, take your jokes
I'll find someone else who smokes
Or high or makes me laugh 
Ha ha ha!

So, here she is, all alone again, hasn't had nothing but strife
Every guy she seems to meet is either homogenized or man or wife
Mmm, not gonna settle for any low life
'Cause she strives herself more than her appetite
So she strives on and on and on and on
Loser still coming on so strong
She said
She said
She said..

Take your cigarettes, take your jokes
I'll find someone else who smokes
Or high or makes me laugh 
Ha ha ha!
Oh!

She goes to the bar to sit and ponder about what's going wrong and why
Getting too fussy she begins to wonder cries a tear a little too high
But all she wants is somebody to like
A smoke or a drink or the love of her life
But her frustrations just go on and on
Hasn't been satisfied for so long
She said
She said
She said..

Take your cigarettes, take your jokes
I'll find someone else who smokes
Or high or makes me laugh 
Ha ha ha!
Oh!

Take your cigarettes, take your jokes
I'll find someone else who smokes
Or high or makes me laugh 
Ha ha ha!