I'm on the internet, posing as a little girl

I'm trying to lure evil into my world

I tell 'em that I'm curious, and I'm only twelve

Mom and dad are gone for the day, I'm by myself

Buckets that I throw up are next to my computer

Hoping that they show up, cuz what I'm about to do to 'em

Would make the Devil sick, I sharpen my blade

Fronting to this perv like I'm only in the seventh grade

The doorbell rings, I gotta get him inside

In my best little girl's voice, I'm like, "Hi!

Come on in! I'm putting on my bikini!"

Huh, and when the door shuts, that's when I let 'em see me

"Hi there." I stab 'em in the neck first

Cuz it hurts, get 'em where the blood squirts

Carve his whole face off and make him eat it

Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bleeding



I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing Imma earn

But it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

I said it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

And it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing Imma earn

But it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

I said it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)



Soon enough, feds will be shutting down my service

Cuz people out there, think they don't deserve this

Until it's your kid an old man's finger fucking

Titty sucking, then you want the knife stuck in

I don't blame you, that's why I catch 'em in advance

While his dick is still in his pants, they never get the chance

I tell 'em I'm alone and I'm only thirteen

"Looking for a good time, you know what I mean?"

Bring me some Funyuns and a Slurpee

"Promise not to hurt me, or give me Herpes"

And within twenty minutes, here comes a fucking doctor

Knocking on my door, a pedophile butt-knocker

"Come in, have a seat," and then I stroll in

With the all-purpose hunting blade straight up his (colon?)

I cut his hands off, he ain't touching nobody

Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bloody



[Pedo]

Wait, please, mister clown, sir, you don't have to do-

[Violent J]

Zip it!

[Pedo]

Wait, please! I've got money, we can-

[Violent J]

Shut it, fucker!

[Pedo]

Please we can work this out!

[Violent J]

Silence, I said!



Stick him next to this other fool, both left for dead

Every time I walk by him, I punch him in the head

Cut they fucking dicks off, stick 'em in each others mouths

Now what y'all talking about!?



I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing Imma earn

But it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

I said it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

And it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing Imma earn

But it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

I said it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)



What's in the bag?

Funyuns and condoms

Why did you bring condoms?

I didn't mean to!



The house is getting funky, bodies in the basement, stinking

What the fuck am I thinking?

I put my face paint on, go downstairs and beat they ass sometimes

Cuz it ease my mind

Some of them are dead, and some are still living

But Imma hurt 'em every chance that I'm given

I hit em with the nail gun, or the stun gun

They can't run, so they both mad fun

I was sawing a head off when I heard the doorbell

I'm not expecting any predators, but oh well

I took my spot, "Come in, I'll be right there!"

But I left a head sitting on the living room chair

He seen it and ran, I had to give chase

We cut across the lawn with my knife swinging for his face

I threw it, stuck him in the back of the neck

Still in my drawers, I dragged him home a bloody wreck



[J and Predator fight and the Predator keeps screaming for help while J tries to make him be quiet]



A bus full of high school kids watched it happen

He kept screaming like a pansy despite my slapping

Plus the neighbors seen it, and so did the mailman

But they all never said nuttin' 'bout it again



I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing Imma earn

But it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

I said it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

And it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing Imma earn

But it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)

I said it sure is fun

(To catch a predator)



[Audio, supposedly from the show "To Catch a Predator"]