[Dialogue between Violent J and Couch Guy]



[Violent J]

I was never popular, this I'll admit, fuck school never liked me, Goo!

All the kids would always beat me, until I'm half-dead

Make fun of the size of my forehead

But that shit never bothered me, Mama and Mother

They had a lot of property

They had a science lab in the basement

And that's where my free ti...well, my time was spent

I made a mouse with a chicken head

It clucked three times: CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK!

And then it was dead

I made a lot of things though, like a frog with a turkey neck

gobblegobblegobble, it was the shit (yeah)

But I'm still lonely, I need a homie

So I collected limbs and made a zombie

I could've made a girlie friend

But fuck that, I got my girlie right here...yeah!



[Chorus]

You can call me Mad Professor

I will make a friend for me

You can call me Mad Professor

We will rule eternity



[Dialogue between Violent J and a bitch]



[Violent J]

I used so many body parts it was crazy

I killed a whole bunch of mother fuckers , like what, eighty?

They all chipped in on my special friend

Everything helps, Even if you got a finger to lend, come on

I hear the other children playing outside

"Keep it down you little bitches, I'll skin your fucking hides!"

?Stressful?, this part is wack

Some how I gots to attach this nut sack

Shit! Fuck! I'm sawing off an elbow

Looking at the meter I'm like ?Quasar and Ziphalo?

Or better yet look out the fucking window

I see a storms coming, almost time to roll

Screw the head on, come on, come on

It's the thuggish, ruggish, bone

Okay it's time, hit the switch, turn it up a hert

Fuck! Shit! Didn't work



[Chorus]



[Dialogue between Violent J and a wrecker serviceman]



It wasn't always easy (Hell no!) let me tell ya

But fuck that, cause I ain't no failure

I put the shit with the veins and this with that

Wait a minute...(brrrt) did you hear that?

It's alive! I just gotta wake it up

Hand me that Rock & Rye pour it in a cup

Give it to his ass wait, hold up, pause

I ain't cleaning his draws man, fuck that

Get him fat, get him ready, it's almost time

Paint his ugly face up almost like mine

I see him twitching, I'm on a roll

He can help me tell the whole world about the carnival

Turn the hertz all the way up for this shit

And just wait for that lightning bolt to hit

Did it work?  You make the call

Shaggy?  (What up, y'all!)



[Chorus 3X]