All the leaves are nice and green
The air conditioner's cool
And hear the sounds of happy children
Playing in the pool
It's 92 degrees outside
But don't you get me wrong
Cause even though it's summertime
This is still a Christmas song

Cause I'm not gonna be an idiot this Christmas
This year I'll start buying gifts real soon
You think I'm over-dramatic, but I'm avoiding panic
I won't be shopping in the snow, I'm kicking it off in June
I'm making up a list down at the boardwalk
And stopping at the outlets on the way
I'm not gonna be an idiot this Christmas time
I'll have my shopping done by Labor Day

So okay I bought no one gifts this summer
Shopping in the heat is hard to do
Besides who can think of Santa, when you're still chugging Mylanta
Cause you ate too many chili dogs at Uncle Henry's barbeque
I still have lots of time to look for sales
I'll buy the finest gifts you've ever seen
I'm not gonna be an idiot this Christmas time
I'll have my shopping done by Halloween

Well now December's almost gone
The time just disappeared
And it's too late for Amazon
To get a package here
So I'm scraping off the windshield
Wrap a scarf around my ears
Cause it turns out I'm an idiot this Christmas
I never did that shopping after all
It turns out I'm an idiot this Christmas time
I'm spending Christmas Eve at Christiana Mall