I'm finally sober and I'm so glad it's over
Do you remember the night when we found Cam White
On his bedroom floor drunk as fuck ripping it up
Getting his dance on without his pants on
Shirt on the floor, balls on the bed, he lifted his head
And that's when he puked on is cock

Amy cut the whiskers off the cat again
Mel's holding a frat party and everyone's in
Throw the fucking couch off the patio
We don't need it

Do you know what I'm thinkin'? I think I've been drinkin'
Please help, please help me
Where's Kris Ruston? The hymen needs bustin'
Please help define me
How in the hell did life on Selwyn define me?
Time replaces all these faces
I see them, they're fading away
Remember the time when I fell down the stairs
And now I'm finally sober and I'm so glad it's over