Don't tell me about humans
I was one for years
But now I stand on my four paws
At a cross between a sardine and a German shepherd
I bark with an accent
I crap nowadays on the sidewalk and sniff at asses
Funny, how I came and went
I drool when I see my boss
Like his hand with devotion
I'm much more the son of a bitch
Then in my yes sir days
Asking for a raise
And only fetching things 

I'm still a bit philosophical
But that will pass, just wait and see
I know my place
And what's expected of me
So I take a hunk out of the nearest neighbour
Or hold some scarred child with a smile on my face
A pain in the neck without a doubt
But I always give them something to talk about
Oh, my master likes to loudly disagree
It starts in the pub but ends up in the street 
He wouldn't hurt a flea
Though he'd really love to
He doesn't mean it when he beats me

You'll find animal lovers everywhere
Their love for us will never die
They save up all their fury and despair
To cut themselves down to our size