I'm not a victim of some feeble mind disease

Although some of my old friends would tend to disagree

I know these chemicals will get the best of me

I'm not saying that I want to quit it just makes it hard to breath

But who needs lungs when you just bought a brand new pen

And there's stacks and stacks of envelopes just waiting to be sent

I looked through my closet and I found those magazines

I circled all the writers that I one day hoped to meet



Don't get me wrong I don't mind getting bad reviews

In fact sometimes they're the only ones who try and speak the truth

But there are others who just love to cross that line

Hoping that their viciousness will boost traffic on their site

Like that kid who asked me if I knew I couldn't sing

That's like asking a blind man if he knows that he can't see

Next time try putting down something we don't know

Like how they gave a writing job to someone so damn slow



And then you went and said you didn't understand

How a girl so beautiful could love a guy like him

Now that's a question you should be saving for your wife

And while you're on the subject ask her where she was last night

Because She didn't go to her sister's for a drink

She was backstage at our show sitting on my knee

Telling us about how you walked in on her

With her hands inside her pants and singing all the words

Those very lyrics that you tried to criticize

But as we expected you misquoted half the lines

I guess this is a game that we both just have to play

I'll keep putting records out and you keep throwing them away