You know they got a medicine that you'll want to take 

Every time that you experience an ache 

They got a pill that'll do you very good 

Or at least it's possible that it could 



So if you're feelin' quite unsteady 

Be sure to have your insurance card ready 



But possible side effects may include 

Melting into a bucket of glue 



If you got problems I got a molecule for you 

Something to tell your stupid body what to do 

I have a mixture with chemicals rife 

To help you unlock the great promises of life 



Consult your physician today 

Then go directly to the kitchen to eat butter and cakes 



Zosin and losin, mycin and pril 

If they can't fix you it's likely nothing will 

Epam and olam, sartan and sone 

Then you can go enjoy an ice cream cone 



Now I have a mixture with chemicals rife 

To help you unlock the great promise of life 

But possible side effects may include 

Melting into a bucket of rabbit stew