When I agree with you, baby it makes you mad
And when I don't, it makes you sad
When I argue back you pack and leave
And when I don't, you pout in grieve

There just ain't nobody knows what I go through
Will you please make up your mind what you want me to do?
You say get out and I'd better stay gone
Then you have a big policeman drag me back home

You holler good and loud, “Put him in the calaboose”
Then you cry and ask the judge, “Won't you please turn him loose”
The good Lord only knows what I go through
Will you please make up your mind what you want me to do?

My life with you has been one hard knock
Lord, my head looks like an old chop block
And I'll tell you right now, honey, that ain't all
You done kicked me till I feel like a used football

There just ain't nobody knows what I go through
Will you please make up your mind what you want me to do?
You knock me down and then you pick me up
Honey, do you have to love so doggone rough?

I wish to my soul you'd slow down the pace
'Cause I tell you right now the hide's getting scarce
There just ain't nobody knows what I go through
Will you please make up your mind what you want me to do?

Why when I married you, you were such a meek little thing
But honey, among tigers you'd be queen
If a poor little rabbit had you on his side
Every hound in the country would crawl off and hide

There just ain't nobody knows what I go through
Will you please make up your mind
What in the confounded cat hair do you want me to do?