Well, I married a gal from ole Alabam
And I figured they'd feed me on chicken and ham
But to my surprise I got fooled
And they put me to plow with an ole blind mule
Cleanin' new ground, choppin' briars and sleepin' by myself.

I's invited out to supper the other night
And some of the boys they started a fight
They called the police you can plainly see
They all got away but poor ole me
I went to town with the Sheriff he introduced me to the judge
And I stayed thirty days with the jailor actin' a big shot nice man.

--- Instrumental ---

Now me and my wife's a goin' down the street
When my ole used to be I chanced to meet
She gave me the wink and my wife looked back
And boy you ought to seen me ball the jack
I run red lights turned corners and got caught just my luck.

I was down in the barnyard the other night
It was awful dark and I had no light
I scrambled around and got hold of a goose
And the folks all thought I should turn him loose
I jumped rose bushes dodged bullets and fell in the creek.

--- Instrumental ---

I was down in the barnyard on my knees
And I thought I heard a chicken sneeze
It was just an ole rooster sayin' his prayers
And givin' out a hymn to the hens upstairs
Such preachin' the hens were all singin' too
Rooster's prayin' takin' up a collection and payin' off in eggs.

--- Instrumental ---

That ole trouble sure follows me...