I'm the man that you need on the day that it rains
I'm the wiser advisor on capital gains
I'm the lowlife pretending to look at your drains
I'm a bogus official, don't let me in

I'm the police, I'm the clergy, I'm Measures and Weights
I'm the chap doing the survey on alley gates
I need to know where you'll be on the following dates
Cause I'm a bogus official, nice dress

Courteous, friendly, jolly, and fat
With a smile saying look, I know it's under the mat
I don't give a fuck about your missing cat
B.O.G.U.S official